Kiss Me

I remember this song during the year that I became the closest to God that I've ever felt my whole life to this point. Whenever I heard this song I would often envision God calling Abraham in the land of Ur, followed by my own mind's images of God's involvement in man's history throughout up until the time of Jesus Christ, when Christ would hang on the cross voluntarily, giving fallen man the grace of God's kiss. The same grace that would cause God to condescend taking upon Himself human form so that He could die for our sins in our place.

But back to that particular "year of great faith". The year was 1999, and I recently re-entered college after a short four-year stint in the Air Force. I can remember feeling so close to Him. I had never forgotten it. It had left such a strong imprint in my mind, in my heart and soul that I can never forget the true voice of my Heavenly Father. Not once during that time did I ever feel lonely or afraid of anything. For the LORD my God, the great and awesome God, was with me.

After that year I, through a series of bad decisions on my part, chose to go my own way, and did not heed the voice of the LORD. Needless to say, our relationship took a downturn. I wanted to do my own thing, so I shut out that ever-present voice in my soul that I may do what was right in my own eyes. I grieved the Holy Ghost tremendously. I had become ungrateful for the many blessings Father had given. The love that we had was nothing but a distant memory.

There were many times when I wanted to call on Him for help; or for someone to cry to because no one else would hear or understand my plight. I heard nothing. No, God had not abandoned me. I had abandoned Him, and my spirit had become dulled to listening to Him. Because I had spent so long a time practicing the very sins He hated, I could no longer hear Him, and my prayers had become an abomination. The Bible says, "If I should turn my ear from hearing the law, then my prayer has become an abomination." God says that if we treasure sin in our heart, then He will hate our prayers. But thankfully, He always hears the prayers of repentance and confession! Praise God for His awesome grace and abundant mercy!

I am renewing my relationship with the LORD, and praise God that He promised never to leave or forsake us! I have missed Him these past few years. I missed feeling His presence, His love, His approval. I miss having prayers answered. I dreadfully and dearly miss calling on Him, and hearing Him say, "Here I am." Therefore, I am eternally grateful for this, for His love that had worked to bring me back to Him, and for the grace that is able to restore the years that the locusts have eaten. And so I play this song again, recalling to mind His love. I'll take the trail marked on my Father's map!